There is a difference between knowing about God and actually knowing God.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about that difference.
For many of us, faith begins with information. We learn Bible stories. We hear sermons. We memorize Scripture. We learn what we are supposed to believe and how we are supposed to live. All of those things can be valuable.
But eventually, I think most of us come to a deeper question:
Is there supposed to be more?
Can I actually have a relationship with God that feels personal? Can I become comfortable in His presence? Can I recognize His voice? Can I experience His goodness in the ordinary moments of my life?
I believe the answer is yes.
In fact, I believe a deeper relationship with God is not primarily about doing more for Him. It is about learning how to be with Him.
That distinction changed the way I understand my faith.
God Wants More Than Information About Him
When I think about the word relationship, I think about connection.
A relationship grows through time together. It develops through trust, conversation, shared experiences, and simply becoming comfortable with one another. You don't build a relationship with someone by studying facts about them while never actually spending time with them.
Yet that can happen surprisingly easily in our relationship with God.
We can spend years learning about God without learning how to enjoy being with Him.
We can know what the Bible says about prayer without actually talking honestly with God.
We can know that God loves us without ever becoming comfortable enough to receive that love.
We can know that God is good without learning to recognize His goodness when it appears in the ordinary details of our lives.
For me, this is where the idea of intimacy with God became so important.
Intimacy is not simply knowing more information. It is knowing someone more deeply.
And the deeper I go in my own relationship with God, the more convinced I become that He is not looking for people who simply know the right answers. He wants people who know Him.
A Deeper Relationship Begins With How We Approach God
One of the biggest obstacles to a relationship with God can be the way we approach Him.
I know what it is like to approach God cautiously.
Sometimes we carry guilt. Sometimes we carry disappointment. Sometimes we assume God is frustrated with us. Sometimes we think we need to clean ourselves up before we can come close.
But if I believe God is truly my Father, then I have to reconsider the way I approach Him.
A healthy relationship requires trust.
That is why I believe approaching God with faith, freedom, and confidence is so important. These ideas are central to what I explore in When Goodness Finds You: learning to become comfortable in God's presence rather than constantly feeling as though we have to earn our way into it.
The more comfortable we become with God, the more honest we can become with God.
And honesty changes a relationship.
I don't have to pretend with God. I don't have to impress Him. I don't have to have the perfect words.
I can come to Him as I am.
That doesn't mean I stop growing. Quite the opposite. It means I finally have the freedom to grow from a place of relationship rather than fear.
Talk to God, Not Just About God
One of the simplest ways to develop a deeper relationship with God is also one of the easiest to overlook:
Talk to Him.
Not just during church.
Not just when you're in trouble.
Not just when you need something.
Talk to Him throughout your day.
I have found that some of the most meaningful moments with God don't necessarily look spiritual from the outside. They can happen while driving, walking, working, sitting outside, drinking coffee, or thinking through a difficult decision.
Sometimes my prayers are long.
Sometimes they are only a sentence.
Sometimes I simply say, "God, I need You."
Other times, I might thank Him for something I noticed that day.
The point isn't creating the perfect prayer routine. The point is becoming aware that God is present and inviting Him into the ordinary moments of life.
A relationship grows when communication becomes natural.
And I believe the same is true with God.
Make Room for God
Of course, there is a problem.
Our lives are full.
Work is full. Families are full. Calendars are full. Phones are full. Our minds are full.
Even good things can fill every available space.
And eventually, we can discover that there simply isn't much room left for God.
This is one of the reasons I believe simplifying our lives is an important part of developing a deeper relationship with God.
Simplifying doesn't necessarily mean walking away from everything or living an unusually quiet life. It means becoming intentional about what receives our attention.
What occupies my thoughts?
What gets my best energy?
What do I reach for when I have a free moment?
Where does God fit into the rhythm of my actual life?
Those questions can be uncomfortable, but they can also be incredibly revealing.
Because if I want a deeper relationship with God, I have to make room for one.
Sometimes that means setting aside time in the morning.
Sometimes it means turning off the noise.
Sometimes it means taking a walk without my phone.
Sometimes it means sitting quietly for a few minutes and simply acknowledging God's presence.
Whatever it looks like, the goal isn't to complete another religious obligation.
The goal is relationship.
Learn to Listen
A relationship isn't built entirely on talking.
It also requires listening.
This is where hearing God's voice becomes such an important part of developing a relationship with Him.
I don't mean that we should chase after mysterious experiences or assume that every thought in our minds is God's voice.
Rather, I mean becoming attentive.
Learning to recognize God's character.
Learning to pay attention to what He may be showing us through Scripture, prayer, circumstances, wisdom, conviction, encouragement, and the people around us.
The more time we spend with someone, the more familiar we become with them.
I recognize the voices of people I know well. I recognize their tone. I understand their personality. I know when something sounds like them and when it doesn't.
I believe our relationship with God can develop a similar familiarity.
The goal isn't simply to hear something extraordinary.
The goal is to become familiar with Him.
That takes time.
It takes patience.
And, perhaps most importantly, it takes relationship.
Learn to Trust Like a Child
One of the ideas that has had a profound impact on me is the concept of childlike faith.
Children have an incredible ability to trust.
They don't have every detail figured out. They don't understand everything that is happening. Yet they can still place tremendous confidence in someone they trust.
As adults, we often complicate things.
We want explanations.
We want guarantees.
We want to know exactly how everything will work out.
And when we don't have those answers, our trust can disappear.
But a deeper relationship with God requires learning to trust Him even when we don't have every answer.
That doesn't mean ignoring wisdom or pretending difficult circumstances aren't difficult.
It means recognizing that faith isn't the absence of questions.
Faith is choosing to trust God while some questions remain unanswered.
That kind of trust creates freedom.
And freedom creates room for intimacy.
Stop Treating Your Relationship With God Like a Checklist
I think this is one of the biggest traps we can fall into.
We create a list:
Read the Bible.
Pray.
Go to church.
Serve.
Give.
Worship.
Repeat.
Those things can all be meaningful. But if they become nothing more than items on a spiritual checklist, we can miss the relationship underneath them.
Imagine telling a close friend, "I've completed my required conversation with you for today."
It sounds ridiculous.
Why?
Because friendship isn't about fulfilling an obligation. It's about wanting to be together.
I believe our relationship with God can become like that.
Instead of asking, "What do I have to do today?"
Perhaps we can begin asking, "How can I spend time with God today?"
That is a very different posture.
One is obligation.
The other is relationship.
Learn to Enjoy God
This may sound simple, but I think it is one of the most important things we can rediscover.
God wants us to enjoy Him.
For many years, I think Christians can become so focused on what they should do for God that they forget to enjoy God.
But relationships are supposed to contain joy.
Think about the people you love most. You don't only spend time with them when there is a problem to solve. You enjoy being around them.
You laugh.
You talk.
You share experiences.
You make memories.
You simply enjoy their company.
Why should our relationship with God be completely different?
Learning to delight ourselves in the Lord changes the way we approach Him.
Instead of seeing time with God as another responsibility, we begin to see it as an opportunity.
Instead of constantly asking what we can accomplish for Him, we begin to enjoy who He is.
And something happens when we begin to experience God this way.
Our relationship becomes less mechanical.
It becomes more personal.
More natural.
More alive.
Discover How God Sees You
There is another part of a deeper relationship with God that I believe we often overlook:
How does God see me?
We can spend so much time thinking about what we think of God that we forget to consider what God thinks of us.
If I believe God created me intentionally, loves me, and desires relationship with me, then that changes how I see myself.
It means I don't have to live constantly trying to prove my worth.
It means my identity isn't dependent upon my successes.
It means failure doesn't have to define me.
It means I can begin to see myself through the eyes of a Father who delights in His children.
This is one of the reasons I believe discovering our beauty to God matters so much.
When we understand that God delights in us, we can stop approaching Him primarily from a place of insecurity.
We can begin approaching Him as beloved children.
And that changes everything.
Look for God's Goodness in the Ordinary
There is something else I have learned along this journey:
God's goodness isn't always dramatic.
Sometimes it is quiet.
Sometimes it looks like an unexpected conversation.
Sometimes it is a moment of peace in the middle of a difficult day.
Sometimes it is a person showing up at exactly the right moment.
Sometimes it is simply recognizing beauty, joy, laughter, friendship, or provision that I might otherwise overlook.
The challenge is that we often expect God to move in extraordinary ways.
Meanwhile, His goodness may already be surrounding us.
That's why developing a deeper relationship with God also means learning to notice.
Pay attention.
Slow down.
Look again.
Where did you see goodness today?
Where did you experience unexpected grace?
Where did something bring you joy?
Where did you sense peace?
Where did someone encourage you?
Those moments may seem small, but they can become touchpoints in our relationship with God.
The more we recognize His goodness, the more aware we become of His presence.
A Deeper Relationship Takes Time
I want to be honest about something.
A deeper relationship with God doesn't happen overnight.
There isn't a formula that suddenly makes intimacy with God effortless.
Relationships take time.
They require attention.
They grow through trust.
They deepen through shared experiences.
And they become stronger as we continue showing up.
So if you feel distant from God right now, I don't think the answer is necessarily to try harder.
Perhaps the answer is to begin again.
Come honestly.
Come simply.
Come without pretending.
Spend some time with Him.
Talk to Him.
Listen.
Trust Him.
Make room for Him.
And then pay attention to what happens.
You may discover that God was closer than you realized.
What If You Could Know God Differently?
That question became one of the driving ideas behind When Goodness Finds You.
I didn't want to write another book that simply gave people more information about God. I wanted to explore what it might look like to actually live a life of intimacy with Him—to become comfortable in His presence, approach Him with confidence, hear His voice, discover our identity in Him, and learn to enjoy our relationship with Him.
The book explores five keys to intimacy with God, beginning with childlike faith and continuing through simplifying our lives, approaching God with confidence, discovering our beauty to Him, and learning to delight ourselves in Him.
These aren't five boxes to check.
They are invitations to relationship.
And ultimately, that is what I want for anyone who reads the book.
Not simply that you would know more about God.
But that you would know Him more deeply.
Your Next Step Toward a Deeper Relationship With God
If you have been longing for a deeper relationship with God, start small.
You don't have to completely reorganize your life today.
Take a few minutes.
Get somewhere quiet.
Talk to God honestly.
Tell Him what is really going on inside you.
Then be quiet for a moment.
Listen.
Thank Him for something good.
And remember that you don't have to earn His attention.
You already have it.
A relationship with God isn't built in one extraordinary moment. It is built through thousands of ordinary moments when we choose to turn toward Him.
That is where intimacy begins.
That is where trust grows.
That is where we become comfortable in His presence.
And that is where we may begin to discover something beautiful:
God's goodness has been finding us all along.
If you want to explore these ideas more deeply, When Goodness Finds You was written for that journey. My hope is that it helps you move beyond simply knowing about God and toward experiencing the joy, freedom, trust, and intimacy that come from knowing Him personally.
Because I don't believe God is asking us merely to learn about Him.
I believe He is inviting us to know Him.
