Have you ever wondered how to have a relationship with God?
Maybe you believe in God. You may have grown up going to church, reading the Bible, praying, or trying to live a good Christian life. Yet, somewhere along the way, you’ve wondered if there is supposed to be more.
You know about God, but do you really know Him?
You believe He is real, but do you experience His presence in your everyday life?
You pray, but do you feel like you are actually talking with God?
If you’ve ever asked questions like these, I want you to know something: you are not alone.
I’ve asked many of these questions myself.
For years, I was searching for a deeper experience with God. I knew there had to be more to following Jesus than simply accumulating knowledge, attending church, or trying harder to be a good Christian.
Eventually, I began to realize something that changed the way I viewed my relationship with God:
God didn’t create us simply to know about Him. He created us for relationship with Him.
That realization became one of the foundations of When Goodness Finds You.
So, if you’re searching for how to have a relationship with God, let me share some of what I’ve learned.
A Relationship With God Is Personal
When we think about having a relationship with someone, we understand that relationships require more than information.
I can read everything there is to know about a person and still not have a relationship with them.
I can know where they grew up, what they enjoy, what they believe, and what they’ve accomplished. But information about someone is not the same thing as knowing them personally.
The same is true with God.
We can know Bible verses. We can understand theology. We can listen to sermons and Christian podcasts. We can memorize Scripture and learn Christian principles.
All of those things can be valuable.
However, they are not the relationship itself.
God wants us to know Him personally.
In When Goodness Finds You, I spend considerable time exploring what it means to relate to God—not simply understand Him. The book includes an entire section on “Understanding How We Relate to God,” because the way we view God dramatically affects the way we approach Him.
If I believe God is distant, angry, disappointed, or constantly waiting for me to fail, I will naturally approach Him differently than I would if I believed He was good, loving, trustworthy, and inviting me into His presence.
That is why the first step toward having a relationship with God may not be doing more.
It may be learning to see Him differently.
You Don't Have to Be Afraid to Approach God
One of the biggest barriers to intimacy with God is fear.
We may believe that God wants us near Him while simultaneously feeling uncomfortable actually coming into His presence.
Maybe you feel like you haven't prayed enough.
Maybe you haven't read your Bible consistently.
Maybe you've made mistakes.
Maybe you feel like you've disappointed God.
Or perhaps you simply don't feel “spiritual enough.”
If any of that sounds familiar, I want to encourage you with something I’ve learned: you don't have to clean yourself up before you come to God.
You come to God because you need Him.
In the book, I explore what I call “Learning How to Approach God” and the process of getting comfortable in His presence. That includes approaching God in faith, freedom, and confidence.
Think about a healthy relationship between a parent and child.
A child doesn't need to schedule an appointment to walk into the room where their father is sitting.
They don't have to prepare a presentation explaining why they're worthy of being there.
They simply come.
That childlike trust is important.
In fact, becoming like a child is the first of the five keys to intimacy with God that I explore in When Goodness Finds You.
There's something incredibly powerful about approaching God without pretending.
You don't have to impress Him.
You don't have to perform for Him.
You can simply come.
Talk to God—Not Just About God
If you want to know how to have a relationship with God, start talking to Him.
That may sound obvious, but I think we sometimes make prayer much more complicated than it needs to be.
Prayer isn't simply reciting the right words.
It is communication.
Tell God what you're thinking.
Tell Him what you're feeling.
Tell Him what you're afraid of.
Tell Him what you're thankful for.
Ask Him questions.
Listen.
Be honest.
You don't have to use religious language. You don't have to make every prayer sound polished.
God already knows what's going on inside you.
The purpose of prayer isn't to give God information He doesn't have.
It is to develop relationship.
And just as important as learning to talk to God is learning to listen.
Learn to Recognize God's Voice
One of the most beautiful parts of developing a relationship with someone is becoming familiar with their voice.
Think about someone you love.
You may recognize their voice immediately—even if you can't see them.
Over time, you become familiar with the way they speak, the things they say, and even the subtle ways they communicate.
I believe something similar happens in our relationship with God.
As we spend time with Him, we become more familiar with His voice.
That's why When Goodness Finds You includes a section called “Hearing His Voice” as well as a chapter called “When God Whispers.”
This isn't about chasing mystical experiences.
Instead, it's about becoming attentive to God.
Sometimes we are so busy looking for God to do something dramatic that we miss the ways He is already speaking.
Sometimes His goodness is found in the ordinary.
Sometimes His presence is experienced in the quiet.
Sometimes we recognize Him in a moment of encouragement, a Scripture that suddenly comes alive, an unexpected conversation, or a quiet realization that brings peace.
Therefore, developing intimacy with God requires us to slow down enough to notice.
Make Room for God in Your Life
Here's something else I've discovered:
It's difficult to develop intimacy with anyone when you never make time for them.
That sounds simple, but it is easy to overlook.
Our lives are full.
Work.
Family.
Responsibilities.
Phones.
Entertainment.
Social media.
Appointments.
Errands.
Noise.
Even good things can fill our lives to the point that we have very little room left for God.
That's why one of the five keys to intimacy with God in When Goodness Finds You is “Simplify Your Life.”
Simplifying doesn't necessarily mean walking away from everything you enjoy.
It means becoming intentional about what receives your attention.
If you want a relationship with God, give Him your attention.
Start small.
Take a few minutes in the morning.
Sit quietly.
Open your Bible.
Talk to God.
Ask Him to show you what He wants you to see.
Then listen.
You don't need to create an elaborate spiritual routine.
You need to create space for relationship.
Don't Turn Your Relationship With God Into a Checklist
This is an area where I think many Christians unintentionally get stuck.
We create a checklist:
Read the Bible.
Pray.
Go to church.
Give.
Serve.
Fast.
Read another book.
Listen to another sermon.
Do more.
Try harder.
And while all of those things can have value, they can become substitutes for the very relationship we were pursuing.
We can become so focused on doing things for God that we forget to simply be with God.
That's a dangerous place to live.
A relationship isn't maintained by checking boxes.
Imagine if you treated your spouse, your best friend, or your child that way.
“I spent ten minutes with you today. Check.”
“I asked you one question. Check.”
“I did something nice for you. Check.”
Technically, you might be doing things related to the relationship, but something important would be missing.
Relationship requires presence.
It requires attention.
It requires enjoyment.
That's why another of the book's five keys is “Delight Yourself in the Lord.”
God isn't merely someone we should obey.
He is someone we can enjoy.
Learn to Enjoy Being With God
This may be one of the most overlooked parts of having a relationship with God.
We understand worship.
We understand prayer.
We understand obedience.
But do we understand enjoyment?
Can you enjoy God?
Can you spend time with Him simply because you want to?
Can your relationship with Him include joy?
I believe the answer is yes.
In fact, one of the chapters in When Goodness Finds You is titled “Time to Enjoy,” followed by the key of delighting yourself in the Lord. The book later continues this theme with “Dance Often with God.”
I love that imagery because it challenges the idea that our relationship with God has to be heavy all the time.
There is room for reverence.
There is room for repentance.
There is room for difficult conversations.
But there is also room for joy.
There is room for laughter.
There is room for wonder.
There is room for simply enjoying God's presence.
Remember That God Delights in You
Another important part of having a relationship with God is understanding how God sees you.
This can be difficult because many of us carry negative messages about ourselves.
We remember our failures.
We remember our mistakes.
We remember things people have said about us.
Sometimes those voices become louder than God's voice.
But When Goodness Finds You spends significant time exploring the idea of discovering your beauty to God. The book includes an entire section devoted to remembering, accepting, and walking in that beauty.
Why does that matter?
Because intimacy requires security.
It is difficult to be genuinely close to someone when you're constantly wondering whether they actually want you around.
I believe God wants us to understand that we are not simply tolerated in His presence.
We are invited into it.
That changes the way we pray.
It changes the way we worship.
It changes the way we read Scripture.
And it changes the way we respond when we fail.
Instead of running away from God when we stumble, we can run toward Him.
Trust God Like a Child
If I could encourage you to begin developing a relationship with God in one place, I would encourage you to start with trust.
Trust doesn't mean that you understand everything.
It doesn't mean you have every answer.
It doesn't mean you never have questions.
It means you are willing to place yourself in God's hands even when you don't know exactly what comes next.
That's another reason the childlike theme is so important.
Children have a remarkable ability to trust.
They don't need to understand every detail before they move forward.
They simply trust the person they know loves them.
In When Goodness Finds You, I explore this idea through the “Trust of a Child,” along with freedom, wholeness, and resilient faith.
Perhaps having a relationship with God begins with a simple prayer:
“God, I want to know You. Help me learn how to trust You.”
You don't have to have everything figured out.
You just have to be willing to begin.
So, How Do You Have a Relationship With God?
If you've read this far, you may be asking, “Okay, but where do I actually start?”
My answer is simple.
Start with relationship.
Talk to God.
Listen to God.
Spend time in His presence.
Read Scripture, not simply to gain information, but to encounter the God who is speaking through it.
Approach Him with confidence.
Trust Him like a child.
Simplify your life enough to make room for Him.
Learn to recognize His voice.
And perhaps most importantly, learn to enjoy Him.
You don't need to become a spiritual expert before you begin.
You don't need to know everything about the Bible.
You don't need to have a perfect prayer life.
You don't need to be perfect.
You can start today.
Find a quiet place.
Take a few minutes.
Put your phone away.
Take a breath.
Talk to God honestly.
Then sit quietly and listen.
Ask Him to help you see Him.
Ask Him to help you know Him.
Ask Him to help you recognize His goodness.
Then pay attention.
You may be surprised by what you discover.
What If God's Goodness Is Already Finding You?
This is really where the idea behind When Goodness Finds You began for me.
I started asking a different question.
Instead of constantly asking, “How do I find God?”
What if I started asking:
“Where is God already finding me?”
What if His goodness isn't something I have to chase?
What if God is already present in the ordinary moments of my life?
What if He is closer than I realize?
That shift changed my perspective.
I began noticing things I had previously overlooked.
I began recognizing God's goodness in places I hadn't expected.
And I began to understand that intimacy with God isn't reserved for a special class of Christians.
It is an invitation.
An invitation to know Him.
An invitation to trust Him.
An invitation to approach Him.
An invitation to hear His voice.
An invitation to enjoy His presence.
An invitation to live differently because you know you are loved.
That's what I hope When Goodness Finds You will help you discover.
If You Want to Know God More Deeply
If you've been searching for how to have a relationship with God, perhaps you're really searching for something deeper.
Maybe you don't need another list of things you should do.
Maybe you need an invitation to experience God differently.
When Goodness Finds You: Living a Life of Intimacy with God was written for that journey.
The book explores the five keys to intimacy with God, beginning with becoming like a child and continuing through simplifying your life, approaching God with confidence, discovering your beauty to God, and delighting yourself in the Lord.
It also explores hearing God's voice, living with greater freedom, rediscovering joy, and recognizing God's goodness in everyday life.
I didn't write this book because I believe I have God completely figured out.
I wrote it because I believe the invitation to know God more intimately is one of the greatest invitations we will ever receive.
If you're hungry for more of God, I invite you to take the next step.
Don't settle for simply knowing about God.
Discover what it can look like to know Him.
To trust Him.
To enjoy Him.
To recognize His voice.
To live in His presence.
And perhaps, along the way, to discover something beautiful:
God's goodness may have been finding you all along.
