How to Know God Better

Have you ever found yourself asking, “How can I know God better?”

I’ve asked that question myself.

I think many Christians do. We believe in God. We may go to church, read the Bible, pray, and try to live according to our faith. Yet there can still be a nagging sense that something is missing. We know about God, but we wonder if we really know Him.

That distinction has become increasingly important to me.

When I began writing When Goodness Finds You, I wasn’t trying to write another book about Christianity. I wanted to explore something much more personal: What does it actually look like to develop an intimate relationship with God?

The subtitle of my book is Living a Life of Intimacy with God, and that phrase captures what I believe many of us are searching for.

We don't simply want more information about God.

We want to know Him.

Knowing About God Isn't the Same as Knowing God

Think about any relationship that matters to you.

You can read someone's biography. You can know where they grew up, what they do for a living, and what they believe. You can memorize facts about them.

But none of that means you actually have a relationship with them.

Relationships develop through time, conversation, trust, shared experiences, vulnerability, and simply being together.

I believe our relationship with God works much the same way.

The Bible says, “Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings” (Hebrews 10:22, NIV).

That phrase—draw near—is relational language.

God doesn't simply invite us to learn information about Him. He invites us into His presence.

So when someone asks me how to know God better, my first response is this:

Start thinking about your relationship with God as a relationship.

That may sound obvious, but it can completely change the way we approach Him.

Get Comfortable in God's Presence

One of the biggest obstacles I see to intimacy with God is that many of us aren't comfortable being around Him.

We may believe God loves us, but we still approach Him cautiously.

Maybe we think we haven't prayed enough.

Maybe we've made too many mistakes.

Maybe we feel guilty about something we've done.

Maybe we imagine God is disappointed in us.

Or perhaps our understanding of God has been shaped by difficult experiences with authority figures in our lives.

I explore this extensively in When Goodness Finds You, particularly in the chapters about learning how to approach God and understanding how we relate to Him. Our view of God matters because it affects the way we approach Him.

If I believe God is waiting to punish me, I'm going to hide.

If I believe God is distant, I'm probably not going to seek Him.

But if I begin to understand God as a loving Father who wants a relationship with His children, everything starts to change.

James 4:8 says, “Come near to God and he will come near to you” (NIV).

That's an invitation.

So if you want to know God better, spend time simply becoming comfortable in His presence.

Talk to Him.

Sit quietly with Him.

Tell Him what you're thinking.

Tell Him what you're afraid of.

Thank Him.

Ask questions.

You don't always need the perfect words.

You simply need to show up.

Learn to Approach God With Confidence

Another important part of learning how to know God better is changing the way we approach Him.

In my book, I describe three important ways we can approach God: in faith, in freedom, and with confidence.

Approaching God in faith means trusting that He is who He says He is.

Approaching Him in freedom means understanding that our relationship with God isn't supposed to be defined by bondage, fear, or constant striving.

And approaching Him with confidence means believing that He actually wants us near Him.

Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence” (NIV).

I love that verse because it doesn't tell us to approach God's throne timidly.

It says with confidence.

If you want to know God better, you have to be willing to come closer.

You can't build intimacy with someone you continually keep at a distance.

Become Like a Child

One of the most surprising things I discovered while exploring intimacy with God was the importance of becoming like a child.

Jesus said that unless we change and become like little children, we will not enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3).

Children have something many adults lose: uncomplicated trust.

A child doesn't need to understand every detail about a parent's plans before trusting the parent.

As adults, we often want explanations.

We want guarantees.

We want to know how everything is going to work out.

I know I do.

But intimacy with God requires trust.

In When Goodness Finds You, I explore what I call the first key to intimacy: becoming like a child. That includes recovering a sense of innocence, learning the trust of a child, discovering wholeness, and rediscovering the freedom to “dance” with God.

For me, that word dance is important.

A dance requires relationship.

You have to respond to the person you're dancing with.

You have to listen.

You have to trust.

You have to move together.

That's a picture I find helpful when thinking about our relationship with God.

Make Room for God

Here's something else I've learned: sometimes the reason we don't know God better isn't because God is far away.

It's because our lives are full.

Full of work.

Full of responsibilities.

Full of entertainment.

Full of technology.

Full of noise.

Full of things that demand our attention.

One of the five keys to intimacy in my book is to simplify your life.

That doesn't mean abandoning your responsibilities or moving into the wilderness.

It means intentionally creating room.

Jesus modeled this for us. Throughout the Gospels, we see Him stepping away from crowds and activity to spend time with His Father.

If Jesus needed time alone with God, I certainly do.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is turn off the noise.

Put down the phone.

Go for a walk.

Open the Bible.

Sit quietly.

Pray without an agenda.

Give God your attention.

If you want to know God better, you have to make room to know Him.

Discover How God Sees You

There is another part of intimacy that I believe we often overlook: understanding how God sees us.

Many of us carry an inaccurate picture of ourselves.

We remember our failures.

We remember what someone said about us.

We remember rejection.

We remember mistakes.

And sometimes those experiences become the lens through which we imagine God sees us.

But what if God's view of you is different?

One of the keys I explore in When Goodness Finds You is discovering your beauty to God. Later, I spend time discussing what it means to remember your beauty, accept your beauty, and walk in your beauty.

This isn't about becoming arrogant or pretending we don't have weaknesses.

It's about allowing God to tell us who we are.

Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (NIV).

If I want to know God better, I need to understand the way He sees me.

And if I can begin to believe that God genuinely loves me, I become more willing to approach Him honestly.

Intimacy requires honesty.

Learn to Hear God's Voice

Knowing someone means learning to recognize their voice.

Jesus said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27, NIV).

I believe learning to hear God's voice is an important part of growing closer to Him.

But I don't mean chasing mystical experiences or assuming every thought that enters our minds is God speaking.

For me, learning to hear God's voice is about developing familiarity with Him.

The more time I spend with someone, the more easily I recognize that person's voice.

The same principle applies to our relationship with God.

Scripture gives us the foundation. Prayer gives us conversation. Quiet gives us opportunity to listen. Experience teaches us to recognize His character.

In When Goodness Finds You, I devote an entire chapter to “When God Whispers,” and I also explore what I call “dancing” with God and hearing His voice.

Sometimes God doesn't shout.

Sometimes He whispers.

The question is whether we're quiet enough to listen.

Learn to Delight in God

Perhaps the most important shift I've experienced is learning that my relationship with God isn't supposed to be all work.

It is supposed to include joy.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord” (NIV).

One of the five keys to intimacy that I explore in the book is exactly that: delight yourself in the Lord.

Think about someone you genuinely enjoy.

You don't spend time with them because you're completing an assignment.

You spend time with them because you want to.

That's the kind of relationship I believe God invites us into.

Talk to Him while you're driving.

Thank Him when something wonderful happens.

Laugh with Him.

Worship Him.

Enjoy His creation.

Invite Him into ordinary moments.

Look for His goodness.

I don't think God wants to be another obligation on our calendar.

I believe He wants to be part of our lives.

Pay Attention to the Goodness of God

The title When Goodness Finds You came from something I began to recognize in my own journey.

God's goodness is often present long before I recognize it.

Sometimes we spend so much time looking for the next big spiritual experience that we overlook the small ways God is already moving.

A conversation.

A moment of peace.

A relationship restored.

An unexpected provision.

A Scripture that speaks directly to your situation.

A door that opens.

A door that closes.

A beautiful moment that stops you in your tracks.

What if those moments aren't random?

What if we're learning to recognize the goodness of God?

That's part of what I hope readers discover through When Goodness Finds You: that intimacy with God isn't confined to a church service or a Bible study. It can become a way of living.

So, How Do You Know God Better?

If you're asking how to know God better, I don't think there's a single formula.

Instead, I believe it's a journey.

Approach Him.

Trust Him.

Make room for Him.

Talk to Him.

Listen.

Read His Word.

Be honest with Him.

Learn how He sees you.

Delight in Him.

And start looking for His goodness in the ordinary moments of your life.

Most importantly, don't turn your relationship with God into another performance.

You don't have to impress Him.

You don't have to have everything figured out.

You don't have to become perfect before you come closer.

You simply need to begin.

That is one of the reasons I wrote When Goodness Finds You.

I wanted to help people move beyond simply knowing about God and begin discovering what it can look like to live a life of intimacy with Him.

If you've ever felt like something is missing in your relationship with God, I wrote this book for you.

If you love God but want to know Him more deeply, I wrote this book for you.

If you've wondered whether Christianity can become something more personal, more joyful, and more intimate, I wrote this book for you.

My hope is that when you finish reading it, you won't simply have learned more about God.

My hope is that you'll want to draw closer to Him.

Because I believe there is a difference between knowing God exists and actually learning to live in relationship with Him.

And I believe that relationship is worth pursuing.